i’ll stop doin em when you stop laughin

Posted in Indulgence with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2011 by theredcoffeemachine

“I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members” – Groucho Marx

To all our avid reader we here at the red coffee machine would like to wish you a happy new year.  What a year it’s been.  We discovered eternal life, survived an alien attack, worked out that sultanas can communicate with the dead, and let’s not forget segurthmaday the new day of the week that brought peace and harmony to the western world.

So what’s next you ask?  Well according to our sources over at the RACV there will be masses of interstellar transit between Qkzcha and Earth as the new superior race of Qkzchalights continues with their successful colonization of our little blue planet.  Oh, and we must not forget the new bakery that has opened just round the corner… great cupcakes.

“I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets” – Dave Edison


rib eye + Webber = redonk

Posted in Indulgence with tags , , , , , , , , on March 13, 2011 by theredcoffeemachine

Every few months the lads and I get together for a day of bottling and drinking beer, and BBQ.  We like to start the day with bacon and eggs at my place then we gather our empties and head out to Hoppers Crossing to the Brew Barn were the bottling of the “Spider Web” takes place.  We’ve got that process down pat now, having a few pots along the way (at 11am… hey it’s cocktail hour somewhere right!?).  Then we all head to one of our places to have a BBQ lunch and enjoy some/many of the beers we bottled that morning.  Last time we got together to do this I was introduced to these Manhatten Ribeye steaks that blew my mind.

So today I got my hands on some more of them and decided to introduce them to the Webber, along with some veggies.  I nabbed myself some pumpkin, zucchini, capsicum, and mushroom with the intention to char grill them all AHAHAHAHahahahahahhhh…. (sorry I get excited by these things).

I fired up the Webber (this process takes about 4 beers).  Once she was ready I through the feast on and watched it turn into awesomeness…

Once 15 minutes had passed…

The crowd was very pleased.  These steaks are god dam fantastic.

Enjoy life.

*Shout out to c-money for the title.

The “Don” Draper Pt I: A trip back in time…

Posted in Indulgence with tags , , , , , , , on November 3, 2010 by theredcoffeemachine

Pete Campbell: A man like you I’d follow into combat blindfolded, and I wouldn’t be the first. Am I right, buddy?
Don Draper: Let’s take it a little slower. I don’t want to wake up pregnant.

Don’t we all hate Pete Campbell… the little jerk seems to be in the right place at the right time, every time.

Ok… so the show has gotten complicated with layers and a strange ending to season four.  I’ll get to all that, but let’s go back to the very first episode, the one that hooked me within 2 minutes.  Great music, great style, and an intriguing conversation about smokes that “mad” me say… “but aren’t smokes bad for me?”

Back in the beginning Don had his stresses but they were an after thought.  The guy was living the dream and he carried it in every stride as if he owned it and why the hell not?  When you can pull out the talent under pressure when it counts and deliver results, then let the rest wade through your wake.

So Don was sweating about his meeting with Lucky Strike, they were getting into the meeting and Don has got nothing… all eye’s on him and Pete steps in sprouting the research from some random actor that we never see again.  Then enter Don…  It’s Toasted.  Sure he was prompted by Lee Garner Jr but he was the one that heard, saw, then sold it.

So this is Don as I see him, arrogant, talented, stylish, and a god dam coos hound.  He’s like the 1950’s version of Tony Soprano if Tony had style and Talent.

Don Draper: Let me ask you something, what do woman want?
Roger Sterling: Who cares?

Then we are properly introduced to Rodger.  This is a man after my own heart, ordering drinks for everyone at the table just because he’s thirsty, saying inappropriate things because he thinks they are funny, and dresses with class.  We also got a nice slice of Joan who shows us that women did have power back in the 50’s, they just had to calculate and pick their moves like a game of chess.

Roger Sterling: Remember, Don…when God closes a door, he opens a dress.

Ok, so that’s our trip back to the beginning.  Part II will my “limited” view on where season 4 started and ended, and what I read into Price, Campbell, Rodger, Peggy, Joan, Don’s daughter, Don’s blond,  Don’s brunet, and Don.

Can I have a glass of wine?

Posted in Indulgence with tags , , , , , , on May 16, 2010 by theredcoffeemachine

In the midst of a massive burp I realized my glass was empty…  There are things one can live through when one has another bottle at the ready.

So how do you explain dancing on the stage at the Great Britain with a complete stranger?  That would be by starting with the amount of booze consumed prior to that event. 

Booze consumption as follows:

  • 1 stubby of Pure Blond
  • 4 stubby’s of Asahi
  • 3 pints of Taxi
  • 1 pint of Guinness
  • 1 scotch and coke
  • 2 Jamison on ice

Enter the GB dance off 2010!

  • 1 scotch and coke
  • 1 Jamison on ice

Ok… so back to the dancing.  I decided that after the guys behind the bar started playing Boxer by The National that it was time to jump on the stage and start dancing.  Shortly after my decision, a very open-minded woman decided that dancing in this situation…   allow me to explain the situation.  The stage was full of furniture, there was no dance floor, and no one else was dancing.   So to continue…  this open-minded woman decided that dancing was of the utmost importance.  Much to my friends dismay he was unable to pull his camera out in time to capture proof that this ever happened.

All I remember is looking after another good friend making sure the taxi pulled over when he needed to vomit and getting home at a decent hour waking to feel like at least $5.